I’ve decided to compile some of the things that my Joans say before i forget them completely, because childhood is fleeting and so is mom brain! Some of these were quickly documented at that precise moment, others were so memorable i noted them down later.

---

The kids were playing video games on tv. This was waaaay back in early 2020.
Sarah: This is bonkers!
We don’t use this word, so clearly she got it from cartoons.

Asked the girls to stop playing and pack up their toys because it’s meal time.
Sarah: fine fine fine…!
Me: Well excuse me for asking nicely!

Christmas was around the corner and the kids were well aware and very excited.
Sarah: Mummy… i don’t want to go to school today…
Me: Why not? You have to go to school baby.
Sarah: But i NEED to help you decorate the Christmas tree!!
Me: You HAVE to go to school or else you don’t NEED to decorate the tree.
Sarah: Okay, fine fine…! (this sort of response seems to be used quite frequently..)

Trying to get Soph to try other foods; one of them being squid.
Soph: Grandma says squid tastes like chicken. But i think it tastes like wet chicken..!

Sarah: What is Mickey Mouse plus Mickey Mouse?
Me: Erm… *before i could answer*
Sarah: Mickey Mice!

(I’m impressed, quite legit..)

I was sweeping the front porch before setting up the pool.
Sarah: Mummy… can i help you to sweep?
* awww…. how nice of her to help me… * Right before i handed her the broom..
Sarah: Because you are old already.
Me: Uh… Okay dear… *why you so savage leh? I’m not sure if i’m happy or sad..*

We were all tucked up in bed and preparing to fall asleep, when a voice piped up.
Sarah: Mummy………. can you smell it?
Me: Smell what?? *is there something burning? did i leave the stove on?!*
S: Smell my fart…..
M: Urmmmm hmmmmm *after catching a strong whiff of it*
S: Smell it mummy… you must smell how smelly is my fart. Very smelly right?
M: *gulps* (how is this child mine..)
S: It smell so disgusting right…
You don’t say, captain obvious!

Playing with her cardboard dollhouse, me sitting nearby..
Sarah: ok! The mummy doll needs to stay at home…
Me: but I don’t stay at home leh!
Sarah: …… because the daddy needs to go cycling..
Me: oh..

Sophie started to learn about puns and were putting them to good use.
Soph: I carrot a lot about you. I hope you feel butter now. I loaf you berry much mummy!

Soph: I’m playing dress up dolls with Sarah. Does it look so-fish-ticated? 😆😆😆

Sarah doing her science workbook. The lesson was about electrical safety. There were two pictures shown side by side. Picture A: a dry hand switching on the light. Picture B: a wet hand switching on the light.

Me: So, which one do you think is the correct action? Picture A or B?
Sarah: A!
I decided to test if she was just wildly guessing.
Me: Why not B? Both also switching on the light..
Sarah: Aiyo mummy..! You don’t understand? You see, this picture B the hand is wet you know.. Then when you on the light with the wet hand, later you become a skeleton and YOU DIE!
It took me awhile to understand what she meant, but when i did, it all clicked and i almost laughed my butt off! So funny the way she explained it, but honestly, it was exactly how the cartoons depicted electrical shock!

The girls were playing and Soph was trying to convince Sarah to play a certain way with her. Eventually, arguments ensued with Sophie ranting..
Soph: mei mei! Don’t stand so near the house! You go and take the bag, then you put these things inside! The dolls cannot be everywhere one!
Sarah: sigh… family need to work together okay…
😳

Sarah: mummy, after you finish checking your messages, you come to sleep ok. Sleep with us in our room. Not in your room. Not with daddy.
Me: but why not? He is my darling leh.
Sarah: no, he wants to sleep alone.
Me: are you sure? I don’t think so.
Sarah: yes… he wants to. Because he is your husband (I think she’s getting confused here cos quite sleepy already)
Me: tell me why he wants to sleep alone when he has a wife..
..long pause..
Me: well? Can you tell me why daddy wants to sleep alone?
Sarah: I have nothing to say already..
😂😂😂